Stripped Of My Dignity, Stripped Of My Voice, Stripped Of My Physical Capabilities, Stripped Of My Knowledge

When I was in the hospital after brain metastasis surgery, I was so frustrated. My own family did not believe my experiences in the hospital due to my metastasis to my brain. They did not believe my memories due to my metastasis. Nor did they trust my judgement due to my metastasis. My family thought I was incapable of helping myself and was therefore I was treated like a child or project. How frustrating!!

All I could do was to continue to rehabilitate and eventually prove that I was mentally fit. Yes, I had been through challenging times. If I could get through the most trying times, I could disprove the naysayers and get through this. I must say stage IV breast cancer surgery was the most difficult surgery to rehabilitate from.

I had loss so much, my balance, my hair, my ability to write, and my breasts. But I never questioned my faith. Initially, I could not walk at all and was in a wheelchair. After many appointments with physical therapy, I was able to transfer to a two-button folding walker. I mourned my pre-cancer freedom to ambulate unassisted. Even during my cancer stages, I was still able to wear high heels and had no balance problems. Stage IV breast cancer changed that ability and made me buy flats. The metastasis was to my brain’s cerebellum which controls your voluntary and fine motor movement, balance, equilibrium, and muscle tone.

I became annoyed with my new normal. I was disappointed that all my effort at physical & occupational therapy hadn’t worked. I was frustrated with not only the ravenous effects on my body. But also, the effects on my speech, ability to write, and sense of balance.

I did not throw in the towel and give up. I made more appointments with therapists. I physically improved and progressed to a larger foldable walker with 8” wheels and a seat. Progress keeps things ever-changing.

Another thing I realized is that I’m still here. Although disabled, there is still so much to enjoy out of life. Sure, I have limitations, but I realized life could have been totally different. So, I turned those feelings of frustration and loss into something positive to motivate me to keep trying despite what life had dealt to me.

Change Your Mindset!