She broke into tears!

I counsel those going through the breast cancer journey. Having a breast cancer diagnosis can be incapacitating. By empowering women with an array of coping options, I help people find hope in their breast cancer journey and stay positive by knowing that a cancer diagnosis is not a death sentence.

I recently spoke with a woman who had severe metastasis throughout her body. Her cancer had metastasized to several organs in her body. The lungs, liver, bones, and stomach lining were all impacted by a breast cancer metastasis. What was so amazing is how positive she was. I was astounded! She was a poster child for all that I promote to others!

Occasionally, I would hear her break down into tears. Was the positive attitude a farce for me or for her? If that was her coping mechanism, I’m glad she found something to help her cope with what she is experiencing. However, if that facade is not real, it can do more damage than good.

It is so important that patients stay positive and hopeful not for cancer duration, but for quality of life. We all know that getting a cancer diagnosis can be devastating. Coping and living through treatment presents yet another challenge. How you fight that challenge is key.

Forget all the rhetoric saying you must be positive. I say having a positive outlook is a must, AFTER going through the Kubler-Ross 5 Stages of Grief: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance. Before you go through the stages, which can be found on blog 8, nothing can be done mentally. You must reach the Acceptance stage for the mental work to begin.

After you get to the Acceptance stage you can work on your positive outlook. There is no timeline for your journey. Just don’t get stuck in a stage, move through! Many people have a fight they didn’t know was in them until they were challenged. Take care of yourself first. The other steps will come after you pass through grief. Hopefully, you will see a determination you never thought you had, and your brave face will no longer a farce. It will be real!

Give Yourself Coping Time. Then Fight!